Life As an Imposter

One thing that makes the idea of retirement so scary is this:

We are trying something new.  We have no idea how to do it.  Each morning, we wake up to face the fact that our day will be totally up to us.

That's frightening for many of us, whose days were dictated by the demands of work, family, and routine.  Once we retire, it's up to us.

I've been testing out the waters of retirement.  As a teacher, I have summers off.  It's like a mini-retirement, a time that allows me the luxury of little structure, and where the day is designed by me.

I tried leaving my summer relatively open this year.  When June 1 arrived, I felt hopeful and excited.  At last, I would have the time to:

• Organize and clean my house
• Exercise and eat right
• Spend time with my radio hobby
• And, most importantly, write

I don't suppose that it would surprise anyone that NONE of that was accomplished very well.  Instead, I watched a lot of TV, read OTHER people's books, and spent entirely too much time on the Internet.

What went wrong?

I had plans, but little discipline.  When I woke, it was too easy to avoid showering and dressing until later in the day.  My computer acted like a Hoover, sucking me into a chair for long periods of aimless surfing.  With all that time, I began to procrastinate in a major way.

As a result, other than short blitzes of productivity, I did very little with that precious gift of time.

Part of the problem was that I felt, and acted, like a Wanna-Be, rather than an Already-Was.  I fell victim to the Imposter Syndrome.  I didn't believe that I was adequate, therefore, I began looking for more information to help me manage.  Hence, the descent into computers and books.

There is a TEDTalk that addresses how to improve your performance in many ways. See it here. 

Here is more about the Imposter Syndrome.