At Last! Retiring for GOOD!

Long-term relationships sometimes can stall out, for lack of emotional warmth. It's not that the partners DIS-like each other, they just feel lukewarm towards their mate. Or, so says Dr. Finkel, author of the "All or Nothing Marriage". Many people are looking to their partners to replace the companionship and emotional support once provided by extended families and local institutions like churches, bowling leagues, bridge groups, fraternal lodges and garden clubs. Meanwhile, though, many couples are so busy with their jobs and parenting that they’re actually spending less time together by themselves. The post at the link above has some suggestions about how to turn up the fires - the ideas are called "Love Hacks". They seem to be based on some degree of evidence (although recent investigation of many social science research suggests that throwing darts at a target would produce similar results). They couldn't hurt, however, and might be useful.

It's not what you'd think. It is NOT a calculated effort to bring them to eye-rolling, babbling insanity. It is because they previously had something to do all day. And, now, they don't. That's a lot of energy with no place to go. Except to try to find helpful things to do at home. In many families, the husband ceded control of the household to his wife. She had sole right to: Plan meals Buy food Decorate Organize the house Do chores on HER schedule Pay bills Now, she finds another adult with time to kill, and a deep-seated desire to be useful. So, that adult wants to take on some of her job. Now, some women can look at this as an opportunity to 'retire'. To let go of part of her previous job. To free up some time for hobbies, socialization, FUN! Others, not. For that second group, this is THEIR stuff. And, if someone tries to assist them with THEIR stuff, they BETTER do it the way she says. Or else. It's a control issu...